We all have an inner artist, which is a drive to be creative. People assume that not being able to produce something easily and perfectly with a paint brush or a pen means that they lack artistic ability. There are so many more ways to be creative (building things, sewing, cooking, and many more). It also comes down to allowing ourselves to feel curious and see things like we are just experiencing them for the first time. Taking time out of busy schedules to play and not worry about being productive.
Allowing yourself to feel like a kid again can get the creativity flowing. For Example, when I sit down with a glue stick, old magazines, and a posterboard to make a collage. Even watching birds out the window can allow your mind to wander. Going for a walk and observing the sounds and things around me can also inspire creativity. I have often had a poem pop into my mind while out on a walk.
My discovery was more of a rediscovery. Art was something I enjoyed from a young age and I even considered going for an art degree when the time came to start preparing for the college journey. I was vacillating between two of my loves, science and art. Biology was my choice. I look back now and realize that I was turning the decision into a black and white situation. The thought process then was that either art or science was going to be what defined me for the entirety of my career.
The inner artist was always there throughout college, even if only brought out of the shadows briefly. For example, when I lost myself while drawing images of the microscopic world as viewed from the eyepiece of the microscope, creating poster presentations (I loved putting these together), writing essays, and writing poetry for my poetry class.
Once life became consumed with building my career, the artist began to be relegated to the shadows too frequently. She would see the glimmers occasionally as I designed presentations, experiments, and training materials. Workaholism and perfectionism began to take over.
The rediscovery occurred later, after my health self-destructed. I was forced to slow down as my life came to a halt. Life continued around me, as if I was looking in from the outside, from a different timeline. My life revolved around doctor appointments and infusions.
Sometimes it is the things that stop us in our tracks that also allow us to re-discover who we are.
I began coloring and doodling in a sketchbook while at infusions. Any previous attempts to sketch felt clunky and awkward, as if my hands forgot everything that they used to do with ease. The inner artist was adjusting her eyes to the light once again.
What really brought the inner artist out was an art course that I had signed up for through my local cancer services organization. It was an Artist’s Way course that caught my eye on one of their flyers. “this will be fun” I thought as I pictured a group of people painting together.
The course turned out to be just what was needed at the time. Signing up for a class like this was something I hadn’t done before due to my busy schedule. It was a totally new experience that I didn’t know would be so important. The connection with other people and the exercises in the book helped me to reconnect with the inner artist.
The discussions and interactions with the group inspired me as I got to hear their stories and share mine with them. I got to try new things, such as drawing with my non-dominant hand and drawing to the flow of music. The class moved to a zoom format once the pandemic was in full swing, but I still looked forward to seeing everyone each month (maybe more so as I was stuck at home more).
The class has renewed my creativity. My sketchbooks have filled up with drawings. Ideas come easily now. I just had to show up at the page like the book says. There have been times when I was drawing and was amazed that it came from my own hands. It was as if it flowed through and out.
I learned some new art forms as well. Normally I wouldn’t take on a project that involves sewing, but I completed my first embroidery kit (had the kit for a while but had too much chemo brain to focus on it at the time). It was fulfilling to see the progress each day and I was excited to display it in my living room once I completed it. It still sits in the living room today as a reminder to try something new once in while.
Life is busy again, but now my sketchbooks are always within my reach. Creativity is now an important part of my life. Inspiration can be found all around us every day. If you feel like your inner artist is in hiding, reconnect with an art form or activity that you once loved. You can also connect to your inner artist while cooking a meal, going for a walk, trying a new craft project or learning a new art technique.
